It was supposed to be one of the happiest days of his life, the day of his engagement party to a lovely woman who had finally captured his restless heart and filled his empty soul. There had been several other women in the past five years, but none like Isabella Toscano. She was special and he loved her deeply and yet…. today he had been unconsciously feeling the call of his old love, the love of a woman who was still in his heart and soul five years after he had watched a small plane go down with her aboard. He mourned that loss for so long; he literally ached for her at first, wishing he could join her in heaven. If it hadn’t been for the children, he might very well have taken his life shortly after she died, for he was dead inside, almost completely empty without her; he was still so uncertain of himself and lacked so much of his memory. Today, there had been several strange occurances, the phone call from a woman wanting to speak with Captain Brady, the failed meeting with someone at the restaurant, and just some feeling he couldn’t name that left him with the sense that she was calling to him. All day long, he kept trying to convince himself he was being silly, she was long gone, it wasn’t possible. Still…he was compelled to know what it was he was experiencing. Roman investigated, but found nothing concrete and it was time to be going home; there was a houseful of people waiting for him.
Having convinced himself he was wrong, he went home and was enjoying himself for quite some time. He stared into the loving eyes of his fiance, remembering how they had slowly fallen for each other, how he finally let her have his heart. “I love you Isabella Toscano, and I’m so glad you said yes to me.”
“Well, I’m pretty happy about that myself Commander Brady. I can’t wait until we’re married, I never thought I would be this happy,” she said joyfully, relishing the feeling of his strong arms around her.
“I didn’t think I would find true happiness again myself. I thought I had my one and only shot at it.” Somewhat sadly he said, “When Marlena died, I really thought that was over forever, but.. then I found you, lady,” he finished with a sweet smile. He was looking forward to settling down into married life again and Isabella was great with the kids. They had missed having a woman’s touch and responded so well to her, they loved her very much and Roman believed it wouldn’t be long before they called her mommy.
“We found each other Roman. From the way you described her, Marlena would want you to be happy again, she wouldn’t want you and the children to be alone,” she said, wanting to snap him out of the strange mood that had descended on him on what should be a joyous occasion.
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Roman nodded and agreed, saying with a serious expression on his face, “You’re right she wouldn’t. She would have wanted me to find new love and for the children to have a mother figure to love and nurture them. You’re great with them Izzy B,” he said, feeling more enthusiastic about the whole situation. Roman kissed her warmly and held her close, allowing himself to absorb the love she was sending out to him. He had gradually begun to relax into the party and let go of the past that seemed to be haunting him, when the strange sensation returned. Instinctively he looked out the window, thinking he saw movement, his spirit wondering, could it be…. Roman quietly slipped out the front door and looked all around the house, but found nothing once again. He was chasing a ghost. “Come on Roman, this is ridiculous, if she were alive she would have come home long before now, she’s dead.” Taking a last glimpse around the house and down the block, he turned and walked slowly back inside the house, but he still couldn’t shake that feeling deep within his being, he sensed her presence somehow. She was out there somewhere… waiting for him to find her.
So, as he stood there in the company of friends and family, knowing he should be focusing on the woman he loved and the party they were having for him, his mind, his heart and soul were drawn to the Pier. He simply had to go and put the feelings to rest or…..find her there. In his conscious mind he asked himself, ‘What are you doing Roman? She’s been dead for five years and you have to let her go so you can be happy with Isabella. It’s okay for you to be happy again, she didn’t want you to mourn her forever. Marlena said she wanted you to move on and find love again.’ Still, he had to know for sure. After making some quick excuses about following an important lead on a case, Roman went out while the party to celebrate his engagement continued without him.
Isabella knew that these little interruptions were all part of the package, so she thought nothing of it and enjoyed herself. She was engaged to the most wonderful man in the world, life couldn’t get any better for her. Soon they would be married and settle down to a nice quiet life. She was going to love living in this warm inviting house with Roman Brady and his children. Sami and Eric were sweet adorable 7 year old twins, whom she loved as if they were her own children. They were already much like a family, playing together at the park, the kids playing soccer and softball, Roman and Isabella looking on with pride. Even Carrie had been making noises about returning to Salem to live with them. Although she wouldn’t come out and say it, it seemed that living with her mother in Europe was not the wonderfully glamorous situation the young teen had thought it would be. It appeared that Carrie missed her father terribly, he had been much more loving and attentive than Anna seemed capable and Isabella could tell from the sound of Carrie’s voice that she was homesick and needed the nurturing and structure her father provided. Yes, her life was finally moving in the direction she had always dreamed and Isabella was planning on enjoying every minute of it. ‘In just a few months, Roman and I will be married and we will have our happy ending,’ she thought. She had no idea that her life was about to be turned completely upside down; none of them did.
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Seeing her anxiety, Roman stepped closer, took her hand tenderly in his and raised it to his lips, kissing it. Then he said reassuringly, “Marlena, you belong here and everyone you love will welcome you gladly back into their lives and I..will be here with you every step of the way. You helped me when I was lost and all alone and I intend to be there for you, I want you to share everything with me, Doc.”
She was touched by his sincerity and enthusiasm, “Oh, Roman, that sounds so wonderful, but what about…” She hated to ask it, but it couldn’t be avoided for long, she assumed Isabella was…living with him, a decision about that needed to be made soon.
Roman knew where it was leading and he wasn’t ready, so he avoided it. Still holding her hands in front of their faces, he said, “Doc, I will see you through this thing, you can count on me, I won’t let you down. I want you to tell me how you’re feeling, your fears, everything, I mean it.”
“I know you do, Roman, but there is something else we need to talk about, someone…” she paused to let him confront the reality of the situation, it was a reality he obviously didn’t want to face yet. “John, there is a party going on at your house right now.”
He cut her off, not wanting to deal with it, “Forget about that party, Doc. You are more important to me at this moment.” He avoided the subject again and started asking questions rapid-fire style, looking her over more closely, “Are you sure you’re allright, have you had enough to eat, are you hungry because if you are I can….” he asked, talking rapidly, obviously feeling quite anxious.
She put a fingertip to his lips to stop him and said, “I’m fine, Roman, but I can see that you aren’t. This must be very confusing and I know you don’t want to address it right now, but Roman that party isn’t just any party. It’s….a celebration of your engagement, isn’t it?” she asked, wanting him to say it for some reason.
He hung his head, almost feeling ashamed, not wanting to hurt her when she had just come home, probably wanting to pick up right where they left off. Forgetting for the moment that she had been to the house earlier, he reluctantly answered truthfully and then asked a question directly afterward, “Yes it is, but…how did you know?”
Working hard not to seem devastated, she replied quietly, “I saw the announcement in the paper, and then the banner at the house.” After one more moment’s pause Marlena added, “She’s lovely Roman.”
“Oh, yea that’s right,” he mumbled quietly. Then he nodded slightly, not wanting to agree, thinking he would wound her and yet… “Yes, she is, she’s very special to me, but Doc so are you… Oh, man…” He shut his eyes and leaned his head back, wishing his impending dilemna away, but it didn’t happen. “I’m sorry, Doc. I should have…known somehow, I should have…waited for you.”
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A beautiful golden-haired woman wandered through the streets of Salem, the town she had called home for most all of her adult life. She wanted to walk it, to feel the pavement under her feet, to make it seem real. She was home at last. After five long years of unwanted separation from everyone and everything she loved, she was home. If only it were so easy to reacquaint herself with the people as it was the geography, especially with the man she loved, Roman Brady. He was in love with another woman now; she knew that for certain, having seen the announcement of their engagement in a discarded newspaper she had read in the park. It only made sense that he might have moved on by now; after all, five years had passed for him too. Roman had grieved the loss and found new love. Yet, it caused such soul-piercing pain to imagine him in someone else’s arms, sharing himself intimately with some other woman. Still, he had loved her so deeply, surely he would want her in his life again. Maybe…. he would choose to be with her if he knew she was alive, but what if he didn’t choose her, how would she live without him? Oh, Roman, what’s going to happen when we meet….who will you decide to share your life with? I know you loved me with all of your heart…..then, but what about now? Is your love for me dead and buried as you thought I was?
The questions swirled about in her head causing a splitting headache and she sat down at a park bench for awhile. She pondered whether she should go back to the house and take the initiative to simply walk right back into his life. Marlena was hesitant, timid actually, which was so unlike her, but she couldn’t deny the anxiety that threatened to overwhelm her when she thought of entering a houseful of people the first time she saw her greatest love. Instead of going back there, she felt the need to go down by the river’s edge; it was always such a mystical, magical place, it was special to them when they were together. Because she had been in some kind of a coma-like state in her absence, their life together seemed to her like it was just yesterday. Maybe…. he would come to her there. Did he still feel the undefinable connection between them as she did? ‘Well, Marlena there is only one way to find the answers to all your questions, go to the pier and see what happens,’ she said to herself.
As she made her way down to the pier, she remembered the best times of their life together after he had returned to her under similar circumstances. She thought he had perished at the hands of Stefano Dimera, a vile evil man, who hated Roman for his attempt to take down the man’s criminal empire. And, then one day a mysterious stranger came into her life and a connection was born, or reborn actually. From the moment she met the man she felt a bond stretching out between them, though she had to admit he could be infuriating at times, especially when his gallant overprotectiveness toward women was involved. Before long, however, she found herself falling under the spell of his sometimes impish charms, his dancing brilliant blue eyes and his infectious ear to ear grin.
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Marlena remembered running up the hill with a picture in her hand, the moment in which she told him she believed he was Roman Brady. She recalled with pleasure, what it felt like to be in his arms in that instance, hearing him say, “I love you, Doc!” in a way that sounded as if a lost soul had finally found his way home again. She remembered the first time they made love after that, his sweet boyish smile, the nervous tension between them, the wonderful tender love they made that night. Then came the honeymoon, their day in the park, summer breezes blowing gently through their hair as they celebrated their love. ‘Oh, Roman will it ever be like that again for us, or is our love only in the past for you?’ she asked herself as she imagined those scenes in her mind. As she stood on the pier, looking out at the water through the fog, two more memories came to mind, the day he proposed a renewal of vows and their wedding day. Those were the two happiest days of her life. What they shared then was a love beyond compare; it was pure, deep and abiding. It was simply unshakable and she prayed that they could recapture it, wondering once more how she would ever survive without him if they couldn’t.
Roman made his way to the pier through the fog as well, his head telling him he should be at home with Isabella and his family and friends, celebrating. But, this objective cop, who always searched for evidence and facts was listening to his heart for the moment and so he went as he was compelled to do. As he stood there in the fog, waiting, wondering what was to follow, his head began to take over as a young uniformed policeman recognized him and asked why he was out on a night such as this. Having no ready answer, he decided he should quit chasing after a ghost and go on home. Just as he turned to leave, he sensed a familiar presence and then he thought he heard his name, that voice….No, it couldn’t be, she’s dead, Roman, keep going…..
“Roman!” she said and he turned toward her. He couldn’t make out the face in the fog, but when she walked several steps closer and said, “It’s Marlena,” the sound of her voice was unmistakable. He had to face her and approach her, No…..he shook his head, not believing, needing desperately to make sure.
Roman stepped closer himself, for a better look and he said, “No..” His jaw dropped in disbelief. She was like a vision from heaven appearing out of the mist, it simply couldn’t be real.
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She nodded and said, “Yes” He edged closer, trying to say her name while still shaking his head slightly, but was unable to make the word go from his mind to his mouth. Instead, he reached out a trembling hand to touch her cheek and make sure she was real and not some creation of his imagination he was seeing. She gasped at the contact and he knew, “Oh, God Doc, it’s you…it’s you.. Oh my God Doc, it’s you! He pulled her tight to his body and stroked her silky hair as if worshipping her, trying to convince himself she was actually back in his arms.” Oh my God.. Oh my God…” he repeated the phrase, feeling completely overwhelmed by powerful emotions, while gently running his fingers through her radiant silky hair.
She melted into his blissful embrace with tears in her eyes, she was overjoyed to be held in his strong muscular arms again, for that was the safest, warmest place she had ever known. They held each other for a long time and finally they pulled back to gaze into each other’s moist eyes. “Roman,” she asked tentatively, seeing that he must be in shock. “Are you allright?”
His mouth was still wide open, an expression of numb surprise on his face as he stared, making sure he could believe what his eyes were telling him. “You’re real,” he said incredulously.
Marlena nodded and smiled with joyful tears running down her face, confirming his uncertain statement.
“When you were gone, I thought I’d never see you again,” he said, his heart beginning to believe, his mind still wondering how it was possible. His breathing was ragged with the rush of joyful adrenaline that was coursing through his veins.
“Roman I know this is really hard to believe…” she said wanting to help him accept the reality of her reappearance.
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Almost muttering he stared into her eyes saying, “It was a dream, I thought it was a dream…” Then more firmly he responded to her, “I’m not questioning it, Doc, you’re real, you’re here!” Nuzzling her face, he rested his forehead on hers and rubbed his cheek against the soft smooth skin of her face, savoring every second of the contact between them. The impossible had happened, his greatest love, his soulmate had returned from the dead after five agonizing years.
“Oh Roman,” she sighed, relishing the feeling of just being near him again.
“You’re here,” he repeated in amazement. Cupping her face and neck in his gentle grasp, he engaged her in a lingering, caressing, almost worshipful kiss which mesmerized them both.
“Get closer, get closer!” she cried, almost desperately. She had longed for an embrace like this one and her dream was coming true. Roman clearly loved her and was thrilled to have her back again. They alternated between holding each other in an intense clinch and staring deeply into each other’s eyes, feeling elated to be reunited after so long.
The reality of what was happening began to sink in and Roman started putting together the bits and pieces of his day. As he pulled out of the embrace he started talking about it, “There was a note from someone, it said to meet me at the Continental Bar, that was you, wasn’t it?” he asked confidantly.
“Yes,” she answered calmly, understanding his need to make sense out it all.
“But when I showed up late, you went to the house?”
“Yes,” she said, a little less comfortably.
“But you left the house,” he said feeling confused by her actions, his puzzled expression making her uncomfortable. His hands were still in the same position, the way they had been, in front of him at chest level.
Marlena pulled away, feeling apprehensive, she tried to explain her thinking, “Roman there were so many people there and I just had to be alone with you.” Not wanting to look at his questioning gaze, she turned her back, starting an explanation for his benefit. With a trembling voice she said, “I thought if…well I just had the feeling that maybe…”
Still confused, but concerned for her feelings, he approached her, touching her on the upper part of her left arm. Turning her to him, he asked warmly, “What?”
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“Look, I was so confused…I was so desperate..” Her voice broke as she told him why she came to the pier. Taking his hands again she said, “This place was always so special for us I thought that perhaps if I came here….you’d know. That sounds crazy doesn’t it?”
With growing understanding he said, “No, no I did know, I’ve been fighting it all day, I’ve been fighting it all day…” Roman released her and started walking around, working his brain to make sense out of the events of the day. “I’ve been telling myself I’m so damn rational, so smart….a note from a woman for Captain Brady…wouldn’t leave a message. That’s what was messing with my mind all day…:” Roman put his hands to his head, wanting to fit the pieces together and mesh his emotional and spiritual experience with his rational thinking processes which didn’t come easily.
Apologetically she said, “I wasn’t trying to be mysterious about it, I was just… I was trying to…”
Standing close again, taking her hands in his again, he said with passion, “I knew…what you meant, I knew and even though I kept trying to tell myself it couldn’t be, something inside of me, Doc, that died five years ago was alive again!”
Tears still flowing she cried, “Oh Roman..God..” feeling his angst about the experience.
Holding their hands up toward her face, he spoke passionately again with a throaty voice, as the tears that had filled his eyes started trickling out, “I don’t even know, I can’t even explain it, I just knew that you were out here and something was drawing me to find you!”
“Oh, you must be in shock,” she said, almost whispering as she gazed deeply into his slightly bewildered eyes.
“Yea…..I think you could say that,” he said nodding his head and agreeing as he held and kissed her hands, a confused expression appearing on his face.
Recognizing that it was quite stressful for him, she said, “You just need some time, we just need some time.”
Roman didn’t want to waste any time, and had forgotten all about the people at his house, all thoughts other than the miracle of Marlena’s return gone for the moment. “What about now? I’m talking right this second!”
There was so much for them to handle, “We need to talk,” she told him, wondering what would happen next, but overjoyed to have him with her.
Roman was obviously overcome with emotion and spoke in broken phrases as he parted from her grasp and then returned to her quickly, “Yea… we gotta talk…we can’t talk here, though…we..can’t..we gotta go someplace.. where…do…” Slapping his hands to his head he said rather anxiously, “I can’t even think!” Then he looked into her eyes again and she realized she needed to take the lead, it was all a little too much for Roman to deal with immediately.
Reassuringly she said, “It’s allright… I know where we can go.” Marlena took his hands in hers and guided her love, whose gaze was fixed on her and who was clearly still in shock, over to the stairs. She would take him to the motel room in which she had stayed for a day or so, while trying to get her bearings. Trusting her implicitly, Roman put his arms around her and followed her lead, incredibly grateful to have her back again, but still wondering how it was possible. Roman and Marlena were ecstatic to be together. They refused to let their minds ask all the questions about what was to come in the days and weeks ahead, content for the time being to allow their incomprehensible bond of love to envelop them like a soft blanket surrounding them with its warmth and comfort.
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Roman and Marlena walked arm in arm to the dingy, dreary motel in which Marlena had stayed for a day or two. As Roman surveyed the building and its surroundings, he was appalled and wanted to get her out of there as quickly as possible. She deserved a much more warm welcome home than this place offered her. He made a mental note to convince her to come back to the house with him after they talked, thinking for some reason that she would still be hesitant. Suddenly, it dawned on him, ‘The house…there’s a party for me….and Isabella at the house. Jeez, I almost completely forgot about that. I’m engaged to another woman, I wonder if Doc knows about that.. How could she Roman?’ he asked himself silently. ‘Oh, man what am I gonna tell her? Of course she does Roman, she was there remember? Oh, and…what am I gonna tell Izzy B, she was so happy tonight and now…. Stop it, Roman! First things first, talk to Doc…find out if she’s really allright, ask her what she knows about what happened to her. Tell her how ecstatic you are that she’s here. Enjoy the fact that she’s alive and by some miracle she came back to you, there will be time for all of that later… much later… “God, I’m glad you came back to me, Doc!” he said excitedly to Marlena as they entered the room and stood slightly awkwardly a few feet away from each other.
“Me too, Roman, it’s all a little too much to believe isn’t it?” she asked, seeing the shock and confusion that still registered in his face.
Nodding his head and gazing intently at her, he replied affirmatively, “Yea, forgive me if I keep staring at you, I just have to do that to make myself believe it’s real.”
“It is, I’m back and I’m never going away again. I’m home to stay, Roman.” I wonder if you are as happy about that as I am, she said to herself. ‘Of course he is Marlena, look at the tears in his eyes, on his cheeks, the delightful embrace. He is overjoyed to see you, don’t doubt that. But, will he love me again, will he choose to make his life, his future with me? No, don’t dwell on all that now, Marlena, just enjoy being back home for a little while. We’ll have plenty of time for all that….later.’
Looking around the shabby room and questioning why she didn’t come straight to see him, Roman asked, “So, how long have you been in Salem, Marlena?”
She knew what he wanted and hoped she wouldn’t upset him too much. “Two days,” she said quietly. Upon seeing the puzzled, slightly hurt expression on his face she started to explain it,” Roman I was…”
“Doc, why didn’t you just come to me, didn’t you think I would be happy to see you?” he asked, interrupting.
“Well I…thought…maybe…” Tears were in her eyes again and she stopped speaking and turned her body away from him, the fear that he wouldn’t choose her starting to penetrate her normally strong defenses.
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He approached her and gently turned her around to face him, wanting to reassure her that he was thrilled she had returned to him. “Marlena, let me tell you right now, you have made me incredibly happy, delerious actually. Doc, you can’t know how….much I missed you, how I ached for you… and now you’re here, looking as….beautiful as ever, no, more beautiful than I even remembered.”
“Oh, Roman…” she sighed as he moved closer again.
Roman felt the emotions rushing in and he stood inches from her and told her what it was like when he thought she died, “Marlena, you’re here and I can hold you in my arms again, I can touch your soft skin and look into those…amazing eyes of yours.” As he spoke, he caressed her cheek and stroked her hair, almost worshipping her and she felt herself getting lost in his eyes and the intense feelings of desire his touch stirred throughout her body. Then, he stepped back a minute while reflecting and his voice quivered as he spoke, a few more tears forming in his eyes as he recounted, “Doc, it was…hell, learning to live without you…every night when I’d go to bed all I could think of was…how we..made love, knowing I would…never touch you, never…love you like that again and every day when I’d wake up and reach for you… and find you weren’t there….Oh God, Doc…I missed you so much, it hurt so bad sometimes that I wanted to die myself, and if it weren’t for the kids….”
“Oh, honey, I’m so sorry you had to go through that!” she cried as she reached for his hand.
Slightly embarassed at his open display of emotions, he moved away again, toward the door. “Hey…I’m sorry, here I am going on and on about me. Then turning back toward her he added, “Look, Marlena, I just wanted to make sure that you don’t doubt for one second that I am overjoyed that you’re back. No matter what else happens from here on out, promise me you won’t forget that, Doc,” he said rather intensely as he stared into her hesitant eyes.
“I won’t, I promise Roman,” she answered firmly, understanding what he was getting at. It was the issue they weren’t ready to handle, the future. “Roman, I want to tell you what it’s like for me, I was…in a coma-like state and when I came around, I had no idea where I was or what was happening and then I saw a newspaper and I found out that five years had passed. Five years passed by while I was….sleeping. And now, here I am stepping back into a place that I called home and to me it feels like it was only yesterday, but everyone has gone on with their lives without me. I’m not sure how I’ll fit in, that’s why I didn’t contact you immediately, I just felt…so….out of place and I….. ”
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